MISS V – BOUDOIR SESSION…

She was raised to feel guilt. To be someone she wasn’t. To deny what made her happy. Told she only wanted attention. Told she was making decisions for all of the wrong reasons.

Thoughts ran through her head. Why couldn’t she just be herself? Was there something wrong with her? Was she a bad person? And then one day it clicked. She wasn’t the problem. They were. Standing on their soap boxes, pointing their fingers at her. Calling her names. Making her feel ashamed. They were the ones that weren’t good people. They were the ones that needed to look into themselves. They were the ones filled with hate. She, was just herself. And she loved who she was.

Hair and Makeup by Makeup by Brittany

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MISS K – BOUDOIR SESSION…

Thanks to Miss K for allowing us to share her words…

“Yesterday I got an email from Brianna. THE email. The one that says ‘your gallery is ready…go check it out, you sexy bitch!’. Ok, she’s never called me a bitch, but still…

Link…password…enter…

And there I was! I sat staring at this gallery for at least an hour. I gave up on dinner, I gave up on vacuuming and laundry. “Holy shit! That is me. ME!” Look at those!

These are not photographs of a woman – a mom who makes dinner and does dishes and vacuums her OWN house. THAT, right there is a confident, sexy, sensual, kitten – who craves attention, has the most incredible fantasies, and doesn’t wait her turn…

Don’t get me wrong, that girl, in those photographs is alive and well inside me. She just doesn’t get much of an opportunity to present this way.

I booked this session months ago, for me. Only me. I wanted to see my own body, after a year of dedication to health and fitness. I wanted to know what I looked like – the numbers don’t lie, I’ve worked my ass off this year, but it wasn’t about numbers anymore. As I told Ewan, who photographed my husband and I a year and half ago, “I know I look different, but I don’t feel like I look different”. I wanted to see it, so I could start to feel it. And let me tell you, do I ever feel it! Mission accomplished, Ewan!

This, for me is about sex, confidence (sometimes lack there of), pride, but mostly it’s about self-love. I’ve spent the last year evaluating my life – my health, my body, my marriage, my relationships, my business…and somehow it’s all wrapped up in this neat little package. It’s lead me here – to a collection of photographs. These represent more than meets the eye – in any one of these photographs I can see my hard work, I can imagine lifting 200lbs, I can feel the joy and angst over that stupid number on the scale, I can hear my husband say “oh my god…that body!”, I can feel the heat of my tears – both out of frustration and elation, and I can remember vividly, all kinds of successes and failures this year.

Today I thanked Brianna, Ewan, my personal trainer, and a few others for getting me here – for helping me get to a place where I can feel it!”

J + B – COUPLES BOUDOIR…

I saw her across the room. Standing there. I watched the way she moved. Her lips as she talked. I wanted to know her name. I wanted to find out who she was. I wanted her lips on mine. So I went to say hello. Would I really want to regret doing otherwise?

MISS B – BOUDOIR SESSION…

When I look back on my life, I don’t want to think about the chances I didn’t take. I don’t want to think about the things I didn’t do. Didn’t try. Didn’t experience. I want to look back on my life and feel like I embraced every opportunity that came my way. That I lived my life full out with love and happiness.

Part one of two of Miss B’s outdoor boudoir session. Stay tuned for more to come soon…

WPPI – THE NEWS…

Boudoir isn’t a trend, it’s a movement…..

We are excited to be speaking at WPPI 2015 in Las Vegas. Come join us for a talk about the importance of boudoir, how we shoot, our “WHY” and lots of other great information. We are speaking on day 1 – an awesome way to kick off your time at the conference!

And a huge thank you to our amazing sponsors who make this all possible: The Boudoir Album, RedCart,  Flothemes, and Renaissance Albums. Check out their sites for info about how they can help make your business even better!

Sign up today and come be a part of the movement.

 

KELLIE – BOUDOIR SESSION…

There are so many things in life that make us insecure. Our own self image. Something an adult said to us as a child that always stuck with us. Asshole kids in high school. A parent that never gave you a compliment. But we don’t have to live in that insecurity. We can find strength in ourselves. We can push ourselves beyond what makes us comfortable, and take risks. We can find confidence in our actions. And ignore all of those things said to us in our youth that use to hold so much weight. We can embrace life. Love. And be happy.

Introducing the beautiful Kellie…

AARON – BOUDOIR SESSION…

It isn’t how he fixes something. That he can play a sport. Or how much he can lift. It is his empathy .His compassion. His love. The way he doesn’t shy away from responsibility. His values and how he stands up for them. It’s the way he tells you how he feels. The tears that he fights back when he is overcome with joy or sadness. It’s his selflessness. It isn’t what makes him a man. It’s what makes him an adult.

BRIANNA IN PARIS – BOUDOIR SESSION…

I remember the day vividly. I was a new mom to a screaming baby. I knew babies cried, but not like this. I was convinced I was the worst mother on the planet because I couldn’t get her to calm down. Or eat. Or sleep. All she wanted to do was cry.  In a moment of desperation I locked myself in the bathroom. Turned on the shower. And looked at the stranger in the mirror staring back at me. I didn’t recognize the face with giant bags under the eyes. Hair that hadn’t been brushed in many days. And a body that no longer felt like my own. I didn’t feel like Brianna anymore. A woman anymore. A wife. I only felt like a disgusting, sleep deprived blob who had no clue what she was doing. And so, I sobbed leaning up against the wall wondering what I had gotten myself into. And where my old self had gone.

I didn’t tell anyone about that day for a really long time. Years to be honest. Because I felt guilty. That mom guilt that you read about in the parenting books, it happens. It’s vicious. And can make you feel like you’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the world. I had once been a happy-go-lucky, laid back girl. Then a hopeless-romantic, passionate wife. Then a confident, powerful business woman. I never expected that when I became a mom I would stop feeling all of those things, watching them disappear right in front of my eyes. But I did. And that caused even more guilt.

I felt this way for a very long time. I felt more comfortable in sweat pants and a hair elastic than in a little black dress and heels. Because honestly, that’s what I thought was normal when you become a mom. All the tv shows and movies out there told me so. That was my new role….being sexy wasn’t anymore. I knew my husband found me beautiful. He told me every single day. But I didn’t believe it myself anymore. That’s not what I saw when I looked in the mirror.

It wasn’t until many years later, and my kids being a little bit older, that I actually talked about this. Women would come into our studio for boudoir sessions and talk about these similar feelings and I would nod my head. Smile. And genuinely relate with them. But was way too scared to say that I felt the same way. Because, mommy guilt : that shit is real! And powerful. And not something I thought I could talk about. Until the day another mom sat there in the studio with me and said, “Why can’t all moms just talk about it like it’s normal. We all feel this way, right”? As she sat there looking at me with pleading eyes, I felt the words coming out of my mouth before I had even processed that I was going to say anything. “I feel it too”, I said. And I instantly wanted to reach out into the air and snatch the words back before she could hear them, stuff them in my pocket and run away. But instead we sat there and talked. Shared. Related. Understood each other. And I realized that I wasn’t alone. None of us are.

Even still it took me awhile to get in front of the camera for my own boudoir session. Years actually. I think I was afraid of what I was going to discover about myself. It had taken me so long to start to feel like a woman and a wife alongside my role as a mother, not to mention also being a friend, a sister and a daughter.  And understand that they were all equally important jobs. I was afraid to fully understand that becoming one didn’t erase being another. Because again, mommy guilt. Whoever came up with that term was pretty fucking bang on.

And so I promised myself (and Ewan) that I would do it. For our 10th anniversary I would get in front of the camera again for the first time since 2004. I chose this date because it gave me a lot of time to work up the courage. And enough time to back out if I decided I’d rather join the circus than take my clothes off. I promised that I would embrace all of my roles. I would show myself, and other mothers, that just because you become a mom doesn’t mean that you’re no longer sexy. Or beautiful. Or in touch with your sexuality. None of these things are taken away by adding a new role. Instead, they’re all intertwined. And they all matter. They all make me exactly who I am. And while maybe I’m still trying to figure out exactly who I am, I am at least taking a step in the right direction. And know I’ll get there some day.

– Brianna (photos by Ewan)